Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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