another moral hangover. fuck.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
