i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
