Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
