so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
