Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
