She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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