Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
