I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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