this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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