Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
