I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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