I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
