I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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