I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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