tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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