his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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