He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize