Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
