But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
