i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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