; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
