"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
