Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
