saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it hurts more in the daytime
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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