i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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