Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
