If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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