I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
