dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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