remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
