Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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