Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
