perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
