Please don't use social media to get back at me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They took my balls.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
