I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
