STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
