She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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