Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
