I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
