Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
