I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
