I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
