I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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