we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
