another moral hangover. fuck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
