you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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