chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
