Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
