Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
